Argylle: Apple TV+ Movie Review

Cast: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, John Cena, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Dua Lipa, Samuel L Jackson
Director: Matthew Vaughn

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

It's a line uttered maybe two thirds of the way through Kings Man director Matthew Vaughn's latest, a spy pastiche, and yet it may be the most pertinent thing spoken throughout the entire 2 hours and 10 minute escapade that unspools.

With its mix of dodgy FX, dodgy one-liners and dodgy haircuts in Henry Cavill's case, this latest is the kind of film that encourages you to leave your brain at the door to the cinema and still in parts manages to treat you like an imbecile.

Trading on meta edges, it's the story of super spy writer Elly Conway (Howard, easily the film's MVP along with Rockwell) who finds herself targeted by the very agency she appears to have been writing about in her wildly popular Argylle book series. Snatched into a world of espionage by Rockwell's Aidan during a seemingly random encounter on a train, Elly soon finds herself fighting and writing for her life as the conspiracy unspools around her.

A weird pastiche of Bond and also the Bourne films, Argylle never quite catches fire in the way it wants to even if it is blessed with some inventive action sequences that riff on Vaughn's trademark formula and editing.

But with lines being blurred all the time between the fictional and the real, it's hard to cling on to any real emotional edges in the story, despite fine work and chemistry between the ever-impressive Rockwell and the equally up for it Howard throughout.

A lack of anything serious and perhaps one too many action sequences set to disco songs make Argylle come dangerously close to feeling like Vaughn is just repeating himself - and while there are flashes of insanity meshing well with the visual audacity occasionally happening, it's not quite enough to render Argylle - and its awful CGI cat - in anything other than the kind of film you watch after indulging in too much excess during the festive period.

However, thanks to Rockwell's ever present charisma and his connection with Howard in their Odd Couple routine, Argylle may just do enough to satiate those looking for something brain-dead to complement the start of 2024.

Argylle is now streaming on Apple TV+

Fallout: TV Review

The key to any launch of a new series is a gripping premise and a compelling opening.

And while video game adaptations have been a mixed bag in the past, thanks to the efforts of Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey in the stirring adaptation of The Last Of Us, they are currently in high demand again.

So it's fair to say the Fallout TV show has a lot to measure upto - from the legacy of some near-30 years and an extremely stacked cast, there's plenty riding on this eight part series that mixes storylines from three differing points of view.

Thankfully, due to high production values, a retro-futuristic aesthetic and a perfectly realised worldbuilding, Fallout succeeds thanks to its opening moments being the perfect mix of something that grabs you instantly and never really lets go.

Set in a post-apocalyptic America, some 219 years after the first nuclear bombs dropped, the story leans hard into its erosion of trust in authority figures, with a compelling story that follows Yellowjackets star Ella Purnell's Lucy MacLean, a vault dweller who is forced to abandon her seemingly idyllic world under the ground and venture into a wasteland for reasons that are too spoilery here to divulge (and frankly which would ruin the opening episode's mix of surprise, suspense and shock).

However, throughout the course of the eight episode run, Fallout doesn't just focus on Lucy's story; it also leans into the dual timeline of Walton Goggins' Hollywood star past and his present as a Ghoul, a wandering character that stalks the Wasteland like a Clint Eastwood Man With No Name cowboy. And for good measure there's also Aaron Moten's Maximus, squire in The Brotherhood, a legendary legion of Power Armour clad Arthurian knights who are essentially mercenaries for hire.

While Lucy and Maximus' story is one of innocence lost, the Ghoul's story is one of tragedy and yet weirdly, optimism as the Hollywood stylings of his Gary Cooper-esque heartthrob are explored. Again, it's spoilery to ruin the trajectory of his arc here, but suffice to say, with an expanded world, these new characters into the Fallout world feel like they are ones which would easily slot into any video game release.

However, Fallout's greatest strength is that it is broader than "just another game adaptation" in the same way that The Last Of Us tackled humanity. That's not to dismiss the Easter Eggs and nods that live within the show, but more than it feels polished, slick and entirely accessible to those entirely unfamiliar with Bethesda's Vault-Tec driven world.

But it's the mix of tones here that make Fallout such a stand out for 2024.

Whether it's matching brutal balletic violence to 1950s crooner songs or quirky offbeat humour, there's plenty that surprises across the entire run of episodes - and plenty that offers pleasures in the streaming world we now inhabit. The fully-realised world across timelines is utterly plausible, engaging and thrillingly brought to life, with high-end production values no matter where or when the location is.

Admittedly, there are moments in the back half of the season which feel a little like padding (and perhaps are a tacit nod to side-quests in the game), but a killer storyline set in Vault 33 helps paper of some of the slightest of narrative cracks.

Purnell's MacLean feels like an extension of Parks and Rec's perky Leslie Knope, a tacit nod that even when things have turned to the absolute worst, it's still better to be your absolute best. That's not to write off Purnell's acting as a wholesome good ole American Pie twee-ness, but her optimism shines through. Make no mistake though, Purnell more than provides the grit when necessary.

Yet Fallout is a show where the leads shoulder equal responsibility and more than deliver a return on your time investment. 

Goggins' rich character and soft subtleties bring much to both the Ghoul and his Hollywood past - with rising communism and winds blowing through Hollywood, Goggins makes an excellent fist of the character arc, giving rise to what makes him a survivor in the Wastelands. But he's never without a wry quip or an effortlessly cool moment too - making what could be a ghastly character extremely relatable.

Equally Moten's Maximus has a difficult and beleaguered journey - even if it is a simple arc. Thrust into a lowly role as a Squire in among an elite Brotherhood, there's an element of jocks and nerds running through its veins, but rather than just the comedy of circumstance, Moten leans hard into the growing loss of innocence throughout - and the corruption within his own soul as well as his comrades.

There's also a fourth story within Vault 33 that deserves to be commended too - but alas, to say much on that is to reveal spoilers on a journey best appreciated in ignorance.

Ultimately, Fallout is an astoundingly assured series that grips from the beginning and never really lets go. With an idiosyncratic adaptable style that's all its own, it's a subtle warning of what lies beneath both the surface of a world decimated and ultimately all of us as human beings.

Fallout is streaming on Prime Video, with season one's first eight episodes released simultaneously.

Next Goal Wins: Disney+ Review

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Oscar Kightley, Rachel House, David Fane, Uli Latukefu, Elisabeth Moss, Will Arnett, Rhys Darby, Kaimana
Director: Taika Waititi

Thor director Taika Waititi's big crowd-pleasing sports movie is as formulaic as they come, but is blessed by a big heart that's hard to deny in amongst the predictability of an underdog tale.

The story of what soccer side American Samoa did after their 31-0 drubbing in the World Cup qualifiers at the Socceroo's hands has all the hallmarks of an underdog sporting tale and it's disappointing to note Waititi does nothing to subvert that in a formulaic retelling of proceedings.

Packed with the usual Waititi wacky characters (every single one of the underdeveloped team appears to have some kind of quirk, or exists solely to say something strange), Next Goal Wins' insistence on a filmic 4-4-2 formation is perhaps the most intriguing element of proceedings.

When Michael Fassbender's alcoholic and washed up Thomas Rongen is brought in to coach the team at the behest of Oscar Kightley's head Tavita (easily the MVP of proceedings), the pursuit of scoring just one goal in a competitive game takes over.

But unsurprisingly Rongen discovers there are a plethora of reasons why the squad can't put a foot right as time ticks down to their next appearance.

It's fair to say Next Goal Wins goes for uplifting and heartfelt, which is admirable in this cynical day and age of cinema. But even though Waititi places the American Samoan culture front and centre and the script provides some genuine belly laughs, it feels almost like proceedings are on island time auto-pilot.

As mentioned, Kightley's Tavita is the best of all, with the Bro'Town fave proving to be a national treasure for imbuing his character with heart, warmth and genuine likeability. Fassbender is called on to play nasty and does so with a character that veers into stereotypes in places and acts questionably until reasons for doing so become clear.

What's disappointing about Next Goal Wins is its willingness to raise elements like claiming Rongen is no white saviour brought in to save the team before doing nothing with that idea. It's almost like someone said it as a passing thought and then swiftly moved on.

Ultimately, Next Goal Wins is not a massive disaster; it's more an earnest draw than a major own goal by Waititi et al - if it does much to put the culture up on the screen and pursue his desire to celebrate indigenous culture, that's admirable.  But when there's the nagging feeling that it could have been so much more than just the sum of its parts, then perhaps it seems Next Goal Wins should have gone into extra time behind the camera to match the talent of those in front of it.

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth: PS5 Review

Developed by Square Enix
Published by Square Enix
Platform: PS5

Where do you even begin with a title like Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth?

The massive title, a sequel to the 2020 release Final Fantasy VII: Remake, and a second of a trilogy, is something fans will obviously adore, and non-players may find just welcoming enough to get involved in.

Taking place on "The Planet" and following the journey of characters taking on the tyranny of a company, you play Cloud Strife (a character, not a motif) in a massive open world that expands the 1997 game.

It's here the game comes into its own from the original as it takes on elements of the past games and builds them into more in-depth worlds. Meetings that were brief in the original now feel teeming with life as the world grows. But if you're expecting a do-over of the original game, you'll be out of luck with developers looking to twist up the storylines and add bits on rather than rehash and repeat.

Mixing in light puzzle-solving with hack and slash mechanics, Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth is open enough for newcomers and yet hits enough of the nostalgia-chasing highs for those looking to feel the game's back on track.

But it's side-quest heavy at times, with plenty of distractions proving to be difficult to keep you on the main storyline as well as focussed on what would be the player's ultimate destination. That's no bad thing in retrospect, but it does occasionally leave you feeling there is padding - even if the side quests are your own choice.

From Chocobo racing to rich lavish backgrounds and graphics though, Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth is an RPG-player's dream. It's the pinnacle of what can be achieved in the genre and while it is only the second part of the game, and aimed primarily at the nostalgia-hunters, it has enough to entrance a brand new generation of fans.

Hi-Fi Rush: PS5 Review 

Developed by Tango Gameworks
Published by Bethesda Softworks
Platform: PS5

Most rhythm games exist as a means to an end.

From Parappa the Rapper to the likes of Beat Saber, the pounding of buttons is more for fun and progression than for narrative necessity.

Not so with Tango Gameworks action game - here, the integration of the beat and the story is eternally intertwined and is all the better for it. Centring on hero Chai, a 25 year old who wants to be a rockstar and who volunteers to get a cybernetic arm. But after an accident changes his future forever, Chai is soon the beating heart of an adventure about breaking out and following your dreams.

HiFi Rush, with its cartoony graphics and humour, feels like an updated version of Scott Pilgrim vs The World, given how integrated the beat and the bashing of baddies is meshed together.

Reminiscent of pop art and a mix of 2D and 3D scrollers, the game's commitment to choral chaos is mightily involving and highly entertaining.

Pulling together combos as you zip around the stylish world, Chai comes alive as a character, and with comic-book panel interlays for dialogue and scene-setting, the whole thing feels like a wonderfully alive comic book.

As the screen fills with hordes of robots to bash and combos to meet, not once does the system slow or struggle with the overload of colours, rhythms and chaos - it's mightily impressive stuff from Tango Gameworks.

But more importantly than that, this is just a game that's fun - one that rewards you from the moment you pick up the controller and let the music wash over you.

Pepper Grinder: Nintendo Switch Review

Developed by Ahr Ech
Published by Devolver Digital
Platform: Nintendo Switch

A drill, a pirate, and some platforming shenanigans, Pepper Grinder offers a very simple mix to players looking for a bit of handheld gaming that's brief on duration and high on concentration.

Simply using a drilling device to take on various challenges and threats, Pepper's quest to recapture her treasure sees her taking to the air, drilling through soft sand and taking on threats in a 2D adventure.

Whilst it initially seems simple in terms of its mechanics, adding in the need to simply sit back and play, the game's desire to hide away some of its more ingenious elements soon comes to the fore, and hidden areas and treasures soon make up a large part of what transpires.

It's not always the easiest to navigate Pepper around, but the game is all about timing and the need to grind when necessary to reach higher echelons. Building momentum takes effort, but the result of seeing Pepper soaring through the air to her target and her treasure makes it worthwhile.

Pepper Grinder is the kind of game that does feel short even with its runtime, and packs in as many fun elements as it can before it runs out. It may not suit everyone thanks to a requirement for nimble quick-thinking, but it is a breezy light blast of a game that shows not every idea needs to be bigger than you'd imagine.

Cricket Through the Ages: Nintendo Switch review

Developed by Free Lives, 24BIT Games
Published by Devolver Digital
Platform: Nintendo Switch

Sometimes dumb fun is just that - dumb fun.

And in Cricket Through The Ages' case, this clearly is the mantra for a game that doesn't stand up to long term scrutiny, nor does it really offer any extended life beyond a couple of drunken gaming sessions.

With just a couple of buttons to press in a sort of Rock'em, Sock'em Robots style arena, Cricket Through The Ages puts the game of cricket into a two player arena as a series of pixel-heavy characters face off against each other.

But in a stupendously silly start, the game sees you trying to fist fight a dinosaur, before the evolution of bowling sees you pick up rocks to hurl at each other in time. A series of mini confrontations that end with the best of 5 or the best of 10, before hurling out into space and other climates, the game isn't really interested in depth, no matter how well presented it is.

As it progresses, more levels unlock and the game opens up but never really evolves past its fighting each other mentality. 

Granted, with an over-the-top voiceover and a case of simply doing what it says on the tin, the game is okay, but outside of just a couple of solo sessions and a few with mates, its shelf life is perhaps facing as much extinction as the dinosaurs it begins with.