Hi, I’m a hot mess.

But, in a very real, human, adult way.

I don’t ever post here anymore (because I’m stricken with nostalgia for the “golden years,” when Favrd was still a thing and the next Chicagoish was already in my calendar…). Sometimes I look back on the things that occupied my time/energy/emotion back then… I will never denigrate what was important to me then because it was just that: important. At the time.

But boy. It’s interesting how my priorities, and concerns, and needless worries have evolved. Not much different from back in my 20’s, but somehow more…. *substantial* and more deep. And sometimes more heartbreaking. I guess this is what “adulting” truly means? Tapping into the bits of yourself that leave you feeling exposed, vulnerable, and “less than.” But then also rising above all that, persisting, and hoping (praying?) for the best.

Growing up is hard. Facing difficult truths straight up? Even more difficult. In 2020, I chose “resilient” as my word. Obviously it worked out for me then, but Jesus. It seems more appropriate last year. Or this year.

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall. What’s new with you?

Remember that time you said “I’ll just obsessively vacuum/clean this ONE area and then I’ll feel good enough about XXXX to wind down and get ready for bed?”

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Addendum: just tried to add <hashtag> hahasob, but apparently I’m too old for the new version of tumblr. 😭

Did a kinda cool thing today… I (1) used a bottle of champagne gifted to me on my 30th birthday [and saved for a “special occasion”] to celebrate (2) unlocking the door to my very first home with a keychain bearing the coordinates of my old home on Melton Street [my roots] so that I could (3) toast myself for an important ‘adulting’ milestone. Very grateful for all who helped me along this journey and very excited for the adventures to come. ❤️🍾 #surejustbuyahouse (at Cheyenne, Wyoming)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAyzw9IAvmLioiwOWiMTwmvAEi_DKFVcxoNFd40/?igshid=e3yyswqjq0xj

These plants are living their best life rn… #shamrocks #philodendron #somethinglivingineveryspace
https://www.instagram.com/p/B5F1Y1Sg9arri_hHVLcC51hj0pFijfKwvgXJWY0/?igshid=yp0ej5xlnf88

thesepuppetstrings:

Yeeeeeeeeeeeep

Just started with a new therapist today, so, yeah, it me.

(via thesepuppetstrings)

#getyourhairsdid #takeapicture #mystylistisamiracleworker #allthatjazz hashtag tired 😓
https://www.instagram.com/p/B07Gpm9gSvvTlNBiFVE4RI_RO3qKRxkmxIyLls0/?igshid=1kbdry3v0gmns

Birthday sunrise. Here’s to 32! #alwaysgowalking #backtobed
https://www.instagram.com/p/BzSu0q0AfVo42U8ShuBr6IDaeUy9os5vEWoQE00/?igshid=1rswl7xibs3gl

humansofnewyork:

“Honestly I just fell into it.  I started as an engineering major.  Then one night I was slaving over my physics homework, while my roommate sipped tea on the couch and read a novel.  So I decided to be an English major like her.  Ten years later I’m working as a copywriter at an advertising agency.  You know that feeling when you’re pulling into the driveway, but you can’t remember anything about your ride home?  That’s a bit how it feels.  Like I blinked and I’m eight years down a career path that I just sort of fell into.  There’s plenty to be grateful for.  It’s a good enough job.  I’m not living paycheck to paycheck.  I can afford to have fun and take vacations.  But my job is not my passion.  And every story you see elevated on social media is: ‘I loved this thing.  It became my passion.  And then it became my career.’  There’s not many people saying: ‘My job isn’t my passion, but I love mountain biking on the weekends.  And that’s enough for me.’  I think the feeling I’m trying to resolve is a sense of ‘enoughness.’ There’s so much I love about my life, but I spend most of my time at work.  Is it OK to get my joy outside of work?  Or does my passion need to be tied to my livelihood and a sense of responsibility?”
(Toronto, Canada)

Ugh. I super relate to this. Also, what if you’re not sure *where* you should be getting your joy from? #rhetoricalquestion #probably

God bless ya, Canada. After a 2+ hour delay and an incredible welcoming committee (@garyvjohnson @jmc.pix), we made it to Winnipeg, Manitoba! Glorious and free, indeed. @fortgarrybrewing #drinklocally #longtravelday #worthit #werecurranswecandothis (at Winnipeg, Manitoba)
https://www.instagram.com/p/Byb7pctAC4gGuSxcsFHqT4uk6Qvn9wOr_G5zK80/?igshid=yu3u59vhet7p

Lookit these jokers I got to have dinner with tonight!

Oh god. Someone come help me pack for my second trip to DC. #toomanycuteclothes #veryfirstworldproblem #trustmeIamSOgrateful
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu0bY3ggAO7qptYICqD4vRD9cBiLqIVquCy6Dc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fhofiiwhglkm

Doggo-sitting truly is my happy place. #forhire #letmewatchyourfurfamily #Iamrealgoodatit #promise
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtckOkzAGSxx_qAeQYT3elZIDMCLMrFui8klwc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ef91gi32p4hy

This conversation with Lilly happened a couple weeks ago:

Lilly: This carpet is the color of melted beans!
Me, internally: Melted bea… What on earth?
Lilly: Like I have with my tacos…
Me: Oh! You mean refried beans?
Lilly: Yep! Just like that.
#beholdourmeltedbeancarpet #boxesincludedforcolorcomparison #shesnotwrong #nofilter #moving #packing #cleaning #thisroomhasneverbeenthisclean #theendisnigh #hashbrown
https://www.instagram.com/p/BrB5x4NA30tuQGV9BlRsCT3fJyTY-SgiWA0wJA0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1r7sivh4foxxb